Evermore
by DeanGirl2Y5
Summary: Title from Evermore by Dan Stevens from Beauty and the Beast 2017. Set after season 5, pre-season 6. Genderbent SPN AU. Alec thinks about his life and lost love.


**_Update 3/28/17: If you want to read the version with lyrics, go to my writing Tumblr oldfashioncdvillain. Or Archive of Our Own, Wattpad, or Quotev (all under DeanGirl2Y5)._  
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 **A/N: So, I saw the live action Beauty and the Beast this past weekend, and I loved it! I cried during this song, and I've been wanting to dip my toes into the world of genderbent Supernatural. I figured why not use this song? Song credits go to the genius that is Alan Menken and Dan Stevens. Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke. I only own Aline/Alec Peverell and their backstory.**

 **For character appearances, I'm using Amber Heard as Deanna, Missy Peregrym as Samantha, Michael Weatherly as Alec, Kathy Bates as Bobbie, Zooey Deschannel as Castiel/Cassie, Aidan Turner as Louis Braeden, Ariel Winter as Becca, Kaley Cuoco as Amanda Milligan, and Emelia Clarke as Ever DiAngelo.**

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 _To say that Alexander Clint Peverell had felt like the king of the world was an understatement. That was just the way things were for the first seven and a half years of his life. His parents took him trick or treating on Halloween (he dressed up as different superheroes he loved, and Dad always jokingly blamed Mom for it. But he dressed as Dad once, earning a proud grin from him). And he couldn't forget about the baseball games, family vacations, movie nights, sleepovers, and Mom sharing her comic books with him._

 _Things changed later on. His innocence was shattered to pieces, and certain events he desperately wanted to forget (but how could he forget those screams?). Those events showed that his father, his childhood hero, wasn't as good and perfect as he seemed._ (He's a demon. A monster.)

 _Afterwards, he pretended everything was okay. That he never woke up screaming into his pillow. Hide the pain with a smile, that was his motto later in life._

 _Mom knew. She always knew. She was the one he truly called home. She whispered promises of them leaving his father_ (not Daddy anymore), _but it was only when they were alone. Those promises were broken when she died, along with his father._

 _He bounced from foster home to foster home. When he was sixteen years old, he was a fully functioning alcoholic with two arrests under his belt, one for drunk driving and another for underage alcohol possession. He was the one you could count on to bring alcohol to a party and the guy you'd find fooling around with some girl under the bleachers (he pretended he never remembered their names in front of his buddies, but he did). Until he saw_ her.

 _Her name was Ever DiAngelo. Dark blond haired and grey eyed Ever._

 _Things started off slow, of course. He was the school playboy and captain of the baseball team, and she was co-captain of the cheerleaders who wanted more than a quick round under the bleachers or bathroom. He first wanted her as another notch in his belt, but that changed into something more when he really got to know her, as cheesy as that sounds._

 _They were friends at first (later best friends) until homecoming. Their first kiss happened after the DJ played "Go the Distance" by Michael Bolton (one of his favorite songs from_ Hercules, _believe it or not). Surprisingly, she'd been the one to initiate it. Things were a bit awkward between them afterwards for a week, and they started dating after Alec punched one of the greasy juniors who laid his hands on her when she clearly said no. He said the first "I love you" a month later, but she never said it back._

 _And he was happy. Ridiculously so, and he hadn't felt that way since before he turned seven. But, just like before, that kind of happiness never lasted. This time, it was a car accident just weeks before graduation. Left Ever in a coma. That was when he'd found out the truth: She was cheating on him with Vincent Marillo, his teammate and first baseman. Alec was heartbroken, but he still went to her funeral and hid in the back of the crowd. Mrs. DiAngelo noticed him, though and coaxed him to the front of the crowd before pulling him into a hug with a "She loved you so much, Alec."_

 _It took everything he had to not call her a liar, that the one she really loved was Vincent. All he did was nod._

Alec stared at the beer bottle in front of him, his only constant companion now. That was the way it was after the fire, after Ever DiAngelo, and now. Things had changed so much since then. He met Deanna and Samantha Winchester, gone to Hell again and came back, faced monsters that he thought only existed in campfire stories, and met angels. Somehow, along the way, he'd fallen in love again. He never thought it was possible, but he had. Of course, he'd never say it out loud, considering what happened last time.

Who did he fall for? Deanna.

Sam knew, of course. She'd told him it was completely obvious to her since he looked at her like she used to look at Jesse. He denied it, but Sam always gave him a look that meant she didn't buy his BS. Deanna didn't know, and, if it was up to Alec, it'd stay that way. At least, before Sam dragged herself, Michael, and Lucifer into the cage.

 _"Just tell her," Sam stated._

 _The three of them were at a bar somewhere, and Deanna was flirting with the bartender like the coming Apocalypse wasn't a problem, like Michael and the other angels weren't using every trick in the book to get her to say yes to Michael, like Sam wasn't going to drink gallons of demon blood to try and get rid of Lucifer for good the next day. Castiel was off who-knew-where, probably doing some angel business or whatever. Sam and Alec, however, were sitting at a table not too far from the counter but far enough away to not hear the conversation._

 _Alec looked away from the couple and back at Sam, who looked exasperated. He shrugged as he took a sip of his beer. "I'll tell her later, Sammy," he lied._

 _"We both know that's a load of bull, Lex. There's a high chance that you're gonna lose her."_

 _Alec laughed at that. "It's Deanna. She doesn't do permanent. It's just one nighters. Which is what I'm gonna do right now." He moved to get up and search for a girl for the night, but Sam grabbed his arm._

 _"You realize there's a possibility I might not make it tomorrow."_

 _The certainty in her voice made him shudder, but he grinned. "We're gonna send him packing tomorrow, along with Michael." He was using his fake-confidence voice, the one he knew no one could see through, because he didn't want to lose his best friend._

 _Sam ran her fingers through her brown hair. "But if I don't, I want you to promise me that you'll go live an apple pie life with her."_

 _"Sam..."_

 _"Promise me, Alec."_

 _"...I promise."_

 _What a bunch of bull that promise turned out to be,_ Alec thought bitterly as he took a long swig of beer.

 _She was gone. Dragged herself, along with Michael, Lucifer, and Amanda down to the cage. Now, Deanna and Alec were sulking at Bobbie's, drinking her alcohol and avoiding each other like the plague. Alec could tell Bobbie was getting sick of it by the fourth week. Once again, Cassie was nowhere in sight._

 _He felt like they'd won the war but at the cost of losing Sam._

 _Then came the time when he was ready to ask Deanna to stop hunting and live together in an apple pie life. He didn't care if she didn't feel the same for him as he felt for her. He just wanted to keep on living with her. It had been seven weeks since Sam...it happened (he couldn't think of it without running to find the closest bottle of liquor and drink it). Deanna and Alec ran into each other in the living room._

" _I was looking for you," Deanna stated._

" _Well, I don't think I'm that hard to find," Alec joked, making the blond laugh. He grinned at that. It seemed to be an extremely rare sound these days. "Look, I—"_

" _Lex—" They'd spoken at the same time, chuckling._

 _Alec held his hand out to her. "Age before beauty."_

" _We're the same age, dumbass!"_

" _Your birthday's first, though."_

 _She nodded, relenting. "Well..." She ran her fingers through her hair, struggling to find the words._

" _Just spit it out, De. You can tell me anything, you know that."_

" _I was thinking about going to live with Louis."_

 _Alec's grin faded as he felt his heart crack a little, however he didn't let it show as Deanna continued._

" _I promised Sam that I would go live an apple pie life. I didn't even tell Bobbie yet since I wanted to tell you first so that way you're not wondering where I am."_

 _He nodded, clearing his throat as his heart broke more. "That's...that's fine. I mean, he's the one you want to live with, right?" His grin returned again, but it was forced._

" _Yeah, I mean, I know that Becca isn't mine, but..."_

" _You want to help Louis raise her, I get it. It's fine."_

 _That was when Deanna hugged him. "Thanks, Lex. I appreciate it."_

 _Once again, he let his grin slip, letting his heartbreak show for a split-second. "No problem. Just...be careful, kay?"_

 _She nodded, breaking the hug afterwards (his grin returned). "Now, what'd you wanna ask me?"_

 _Alec rubbed the back of his neck. "I just..was gonna go for a quick run to the store. Want anything?"_

 _She rolled her green eyes. "Pie, obviously."_

 _He nodded and walked out to the car, wiping his eyes when he was far enough away._

Louis Braeden. Her former lover. He even had a daughter. He clearly had everything she wanted and would make her happy.

What was the phrase? If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they're yours.

Alec knew she wouldn't come back to him. It had been six months since their conversation. Since he'd watched her go into Louis's house. It was clear the man still loved her. He'd seen it when they'd saved Becca from the changeling.

Deanna probably loved Louis as well, Alec guessed. Yet, he couldn't help looking at the door of wherever he was, thinking that she'd come back and either say she wanted to keep hunting with him or go normal with him. That was the way a fairy tale would end, but Alec knew real life wasn't one. That didn't stop him from dreaming of it.

He took another swig of beer before deciding he needed something stronger.

Maybe whiskey. Definitely whiskey.

He waved to the bartender before saying, "Whiskey, neat."

The bartender looked like he was going to open his mouth, but Alec gave him a "don't wanna talk about it" look, and he was given the glass and the bottle was left beside it. He guessed he looked about as good as he felt. He was pretty much running on coffee, diner food, and alcohol. He'd bought a car, but it wasn't as good as Baby. The only time he slept was when he passed out from drinking too much.

Baby was probably sitting in Louis's garage, unused these past six months. Deanna probably still fixed her up whenever she had time. Whenever she wasn't cooking, cleaning, or doing whatever had become her day job. It took everything he had to not reach for the picture Sam had taken of the two of them on a rare day off. He sighed, picking up the glass. She was always gonna be on his mind. There was no doubt about that.

She'd saved his life. Multiple times, but the first time always stuck out to him. It was when he'd really been introduced to the world of monsters. That had been the moment he'd decided to become a hunter. However, he thought of what would have happened if he spoke first. What might have happened if she had said yes to living with him. He took a drink, hoping against hope that he'll stop listening for that familiar rumble. _Like that's gonna happen._


End file.
